Stakeholder mindset

As someone who works in tech but is not a part of the core organization (ie. Engineering org) and considered as one of cross-functinoal partners, I tend to think of my role as a consultant and the engineers as the main stakeholders to whom I render my service to.

Looking back, it feels like I’ve never truly had a stakeholder’s mindset before. Always has been the one who’s in the back seat, waiting for someone to make the decision for me and the group or team I belonged to. I always have been a great follower, no doubt. Not sure where it all started, but a lot of times I felt that I’m not the one to call the shot and I’m afraid to commit to being responsible for things I take the full ownership of. It becamse a chronic issue, leading to procrastination, truance (in college), failed relationships and many more.

It has gotten a lot better since I started working at companies that hold a high bar against performance, but I still wonder how I can be more bold, vocal, proactive, assertive and stakeholder-like. Confidence might be a factor but I feel like I’m quite confident enough about my skillset.

Having the sense of agency so that I’m fully aware of my ability and right to make choices and change the outcome would be what I need to improve. If I don’t like the situation at work or in a relationship, I should know that I have the power and right to suggest changes and initiate actions.